Rigorous
Volume Five, Issue 3



Revel

Chinedu Gospel


in closed eyes / i wade through the darkness of night / my feet / cracking every ellipsis embedded in the clouds of my breath / in life / & in dreams / we open a door / only to find another staring at us / & we keep opening doors / that lead to an exit from the sun / like a space travel to pluto / on the night when my friend died / i opened a door to find a room with many doors / questions posed at every threshold / i wasn’t trying to unpuzzle her death / but to unpuzzle my life / every meaning it held now / like how do i iron my rumpled self / until i am sleek enough to face the world / & not be condemned by myself first / like how do i replace the buttons of my shirt / those people who had the tendency to always sheath me / the she(s) of my life / i metaphor myself with a plaintive euphemism / peace / quiet / calm / trying to undo the etymology of grief / because i believe that grief is a language only the heartbeat can speak / because when i press sorrow down my throat / i vomit white doves smothering in my heart / name me a name that sounds like grief / grave / the hollowness in the shaft of my bones / where i en-library elegies / until I become too heavy to carry myself to another line in this poem / when she died / i walked through the threshold of an open doorway / into a dimly lit room / that doesn’t echo the sound of my footsteps / nor reflect the shape of my silhouette / a room completely earth before it knew God / a place where the only physics was the matter of grief dragging my feet through the rugs / down the basement to another door / see how grief turns man into a coffin / & every night / she’s always enclosed in my mind / i grab her frame on the wall / my eyelashes as brush / i paint her with a palette of peace / as i stare from up to down / as i stare from up to down /



Chinedu Gospel: “I am an emerging Nigerian poet. I write from Anambra state where I currently live and attend high school. My works have appeared / are forthcoming in Lunaris review, Poetry column NND, Eremite poetry, Sledgehammer literary magazine, Feral poetry, Africa writers mag, The rising phoenix review & elsewhere. Say hi on IG @gospelsofpoetry.”




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